Has there ever been a greater waste of time and talent and money and money spent on talent and use of energy (and the energy of countless projectionists and a distributor's efforts?) than Wes Anderson's 'The Life Aquatic'? I thought that this was one of those films I should see. Wes Anderson after all. Bill Murray post Sophia Coppolla. I should catch up on this missing gem. I mean given that Bill Murray can't possibly make a bad film even when it's the depths of Caddyshack, and Wes Anderson can't take a bad still photo in widescreen. Heck, even if the film is nothing more than some proscenium shots of quirky sets with Bill staring off longingly into the distance, then surely that would have been enough for me.
If only that were the film. But it wasn't. Bill is interupted with the worst script never to have been written (oh the awful smell of pointless improv to jokes that make only the director laugh) and the pain of watching actors wing amidst expensive set peices and pointless special effects.
Even the stupid costumes wear thin after oh, the third person dressed like a moron. Contrast = comedy. Everyone dressed like a moron = filming a fancy dress party.
Quirkiness for quirkiness sake and moments of (I can't even say clever) typography do not a film make.
And Bill's hangdog repetition of the storyline 'relaxed revenge' bores even him, so why should I bother.
I tried to hang in there. But I was feeling my time slipping away and soon I was also feeling bad for the actors and the crew... and the time they wasted in making the film.
And then I thought, oh dear God I'm wasting their time all over again, simply by watching any more of this. The only person getting anything out of it was David Bowie who collects some PRS from the soundtrack, and lets face it, he doesn't need the cash.
So after an hour, I put a stop to the pain and torture. It is an hour of my life I will never get back and if anyone says 'Oh you should have waited until the ending, it gets better.' I can only say better than what? For me, it only got better when I turned it off.
Ah well Bill. We'll always have Groundhogs Day. And in all those years you spent in that film, not one moment will ever be a waste of either of our time.